infertility

our case worker thought you'd like to know something about our struggle with infertility. this seems like such a personal thing to share... but since you want to know... here is some of the story.

i got married later in life than the average person. i was 31. (jonathan is 7 years younger.) we both figured it was better to wait a little before trying to become pregnant because our courtship was fairly brief. (from august of 2002 until our marriage in may of 2003.) note: i always said a person needs to date for a year before getting married... but, then i found out, when you know something is right you just take a leap of faith. ha!

about a year into our marriage we tried to get pregnant. boom! done. wow. that was easy. i thought it would be hard because my mom had infertility issues. wrong. phew.

azure's birth was at the women's birth center in tucson, az. it was one of the most amazing things i've ever experienced. i wanted to do it again as soon as possible. we didn't wait long before trying to get pregnant again. i had no idea that it wouldn't happen so easily the second time. ugh.

i'm on my third doctor. he, like the others, doesn't see any reason why i'm not getting pregnant. i guess that God has another plan for how we are going to "grow" our family. i hope and have faith in my desire to have another child.

for now, i'm a foster mom to a little baby girl and pray that a birth mom will choose us to be her child's forever-family.

p.s. it's hard not to get down every time i get my period. sigh. today was one of those down days. sigh. for 15 or so days i month i hope and secretly pray God will make this month different than the previous one. i try not to focused on it... i try to fill my days with good things... i try to appreciate what i've been blessed with already... but it's hard when i feel like i have a good desire that i cannot satisfy... it hurts. it's hard not think that God is mad at me... but at the same time i know that if i get everything i want or think i need i'll never grow. patience truly is a virtue!